Fiddledeedee

Recently, my sweet cyber friend, Amy (who knows and understands my obsession with “24” and all things Jack Bauer), sent me this link. She was reading a blogger’s “100 Things About Me” and she instructed me to pay particular attention to #36 and #37.

I will post them for you here:

#36 “My friend and I saw the guy from 24 at the JFK airport…”
#37 “It was right after 911 and he was getting frisked. He was wearing all black and looked very annoyed.”

I’ll just let that visual soak in with you.

I know.

I wrote back to Amy and said something to the effect of how much I would have enjoyed a job as security personnel on that day. Even though I would have been immediately unemployed afterward. And quite possibly jailed.

My friends, we have suffered through a veritable wasteland of television mediocrity. The reality show? They are all dead to me.

A bright shining light is looming on my televised horizon. And that ray of hope is the much anticipated return of “24” and that man in black, Jack Bauer. Next Sunday, November 23, for two riveting hours, I will be sitting, nose to screen, watching Jack save mankind. Again.

Amy and I are tossing around the idea of a live blogging event, but, then I would have to remove my eyeballs from the screen to look at my computer keys.

And I just don’t know if I can do that.

What show(s) are you anxiously awaiting the return of?

I cannot contain my disappointment. My beloved Jericho has been canceled. Canceled. As in for eternity. It doesn’t look like the fans can even save it again this time.

Nuts.

Tuesday night, CBS will air the series finale. And I’ll be glued to my television, bitterly crying into my sugar-free chocolate pudding.

This does not bode well for my television viewing lineup. I’ve completely dropped Survivor from my docket. Faithfully, I’ve watched since Season 1. Even when Richard dropped trowel on national TV. I cried, “MY EYES, MY EYES,” and yet continued to peek. All the way until episode 3 of the current season. When I lost all interest. Forever.

It’s a well known fact that I’m a huge 24 fan. However, Jack won’t be back until January of 2009. I mean, he could get all soft and easy going by that time. A guy can only maintain his edge for so long. And then how will he save the world from annihilation, I ask you. Besides, after all this time has past, I don’t even remember if he was dead or alive after the last episode.

I have my old standbys, American Idol and Dancing With the Stars. But, Dancing nearly lost me after I saw the men dancing last week. Thankfully, the women totally wooed me back. Kristy Yamaguchi was amazing. And I was pleasantly surprised by Marlee and Priscilla.

And then there’s Lost. Which is evidently taking a hiatus until the end of April. The break will do me good, I suppose. That stupid show causes my blood pressure to shoot up to dangerous levels. Levels only reserved for natural disasters and late periods. By the end of nearly every episode, I find myself standing on my bed throwing house slippers at the television and vowing never ever to watch the stupid show again. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

But, I always come back. Like a dog returns to the scene of his vomit. I’m loyal like that.

There is hope for my television viewing experience. Fiddledaddy mentioned to me that I would like a new show called Miss Guided. Translated: it contains immature and inappropriate humor.

He knows me so well.

So, what’s your lineup like? Top 3 picks. Unless, of course, unlike me, you actually have a life.

While it was not my intention for this post to be about American Idol, since I’m thinking about it, I’d like to give my predictions for the final 4. There’s nothing scientific about my calculations. These are just my favorites. After 4 cups of coffee.

•David Cook
•David Archuleta
•Brooke White
•Carly Smithson

These guys have the most star potential. In my humble opinion. But then, I still dig The Captain & Tennille. Now, Michael John deserves a spot in the top 4, but, he needs to seriously step up his game. I know he’s got it in him. If he did this, he could replace either of the Davids.

Now, back to the post.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Someone in this house, who shall remain nameless, has been giving me untold grief about my choice in pretend boyfriends. Particularly, my 4 decade long relationship with Donny Osmond.

Although, as my 8 year old is fond of saying, “Just because someone has touched you, doesn’t mean you know them.”

Whatever.

Anyhoo. I happen to know, that certain someone that I live with, had a thing for MaryAnn from Gilligan’s Island. While, he’ll be the first to admit that Ginger had it goin’ on, he prefers his women a little more down to earth.

What he’s doing with me, I’ll never know.

It brought me inappropriate pleasure to point out this particular news story to him.

Followed by a head waggle in his general direction.

I believe it is safe to say that Donny Osmond has never sparked a doobie.

I am just sayin’.

So. In your youth, who was your pretend boyfriend? (Or pretend girlfriend, for all two of my male readers.)

I couldn’t sit on this one people. That’s why I’m posting twice in one day. Two Works For Me Wednesday posts, even.

Fiddledaddy, my computer and technological guru, just brought me this information.

Hold onto your remote.

There is a site which has just been opened up to the public, called Hulu. You can now watch your favorite TV shows and Movies FOR FREE. With very limited commercial interruption.

I just watched an episode of “Partridge Family” and “Lost In Space.” Holy cow, Will Robinson. There are all type of current as well as old favorites. And new shows are being added as we speak.

This is the part that Fiddledaddy is excited about, and I’m sure that someday it will be important to me as well, but the episodes have the capability of being imbedded onto other sites.

All I know, is that now I can watch “Bob Newhart.” There is a wonderful list of movies as well. OH, and all the seasons of “24” are there. Which only kind of lessens the pain of not viewing the current season until January of 2009.

Now, the chances of me getting any cleaning done around here have just plummeted. For even more handy tips, head back over to Works For Me Wednesday.

After weeks of anticipation, the Dancing with the Stars lineup has been revealed.

And I can barely contain my disappointment.

I think the network has been playing “fast and loose” with the term “stars.” For starters, I’ve never heard of most of the upcoming cast. Further, none of them, to my knowledge, have ever been arrested, or landed in rehab. And everyone knows, to ensure success in Hollywood, you’re nobody until your mug shot has been splashed across Entertainment Tonight.

Without further fanfare, the following is the cast for the Dancing with the Stars season, set to premiere March 17th.

Telenovela star Cristian de la Fuente

R&B singer Mario

Magician Penn Jillette

Actor Steve Guttenberg

Olympic Gold Medal Figure Skater Kristi Yamaguchi

Former tennis pro Monica Seles

NFL Player Jason Taylor

Actress Shannon Elizabeth

Radio/TV personality Adam Carolla

Actress Marissa Jaret Winokur

Oscar-winning actress Marlee Matlin

Actress Priscilla Presley

To further add salt to my wounds, I had heard from a number of reliable sources (Access Hollywood, People Magazine, National Inquirer) that Donny Osmond would be featured this season.

If you will notice, he was not mentioned.

I hang my head in sadness.

Since I’ve now sworn off Survivor, and am likely to jettison Dancing with the Stars as well, all of my reality TV hopes and dreams will have to be pinned on American Idol. A tall order, to be sure.

Simon Cowell, don’t let me down now, buddy. Randy, dude, do your thang. And Paula, well, just be there.