Mother, May I
June 14th, 2007 by FiddledeedeeA few weeks ago I was doing my grocery shopping. Grateful for some time alone. Oh, there were plenty of other shoppers as this was during peak hours on a Saturday. But my menagerie was home with Fiddledaddy. The front of my cart was neatly organized with my shopping list, coupon box, and iced tea. I can’t even consider shopping without my iced tea. That wouldn’t be civilized. I just wish someone would invent cup holders for grocery carts.
My cart was beginning to fill, and I was humming along to “Dancing In The Streets” playing over the store’s stereo system. As I was rounding the corner heading down aisle #6, minding my own beeswax, a small child of about 3 walked right up to me, balled up his fat little fist, and socked me in the thigh. I stopped humming and came to an abrupt halt, staring in disbelief first at the child, then at the mother who was not two feet from her offspring. The boy took off and hid behind an end cap, peeking out. The mother did not say a word to me, or even look at me. Instead, she said to her son (let’s call him Damien), “Damien, get over here right now and apologize.” No response. Louder, “DAMIEN, get over here and APOLOGIZE.” Nothing. “DAMIEN, I SAID GET OVER HERE AND APOLOGIZE.” Crickets were chirping. “Damien, if you don’t apologize, you’re not going to the party this afternoon.” The child only blinked. “Damien? I mean it.” Then, without glancing at me, or uttering a word in my general direction, she continued her shopping as though nothing had happened. Damien skipped along ahead of her, looking for a cat to torture, I suppose.
I’m seldom speechless. But I stood there for at least two more minutes with my mouth hanging open. Finally, rather loudly I said, “THIS IS JUST A GUESS, BUT I BET DAMIEN GETS TO GO TO THE PARTY THIS AFTERNOON.” Only the canned peas and one elderly lady shopper who smiled politely and picked up the pace to get past me, benefitted from my belated yet snappy comeback.
As a sometimes exasperated mother of three, I know all too well that it’s easier to stick my fingers in my ears, while singing my pretty song of denial,”La la la la la la.” It’s far less work to let them just “get away with it” than to correct the behavior. And boy oh boy, I am no one to judge. I mean, how blessed am I to have a husband who will watch the kids while I go out to hunt and gather the groceries! My occasional grocery shopping escapades which included all of my children have made for some fun blog fodder. But, was it fun for the other harried shoppers? Granted, my kids have never sucker punched another patron, but still.
The only way I can reasonably understand and deal with the situation I encountered that day at the grocery store, is to imagine that this poor woman must really have her hands full. And she needs my understanding, not my condemnation. And the lesson that I need to take away from this is to continue to teach my children obedience, consequence, and discipline. Even when it’s easier to plug up my ears and go to my happy place.
Those of you who have traversed this parenting business relatively unscathed, and have children who turned out to be well adjusted, contributing members of society, spill your guts. Any sage advice is always appreciated. And I know that there’s a whole bunch of us tired moms in the trenches who are listening. And our fingers are not in our ears.
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6
Posted in My Life as I See It |
June 14th, 2007 at 3:24 am
Well, ya can’t do a thing about other people and their kids, but as you said, it is a wake up. Why was the little darling running around loose? Why was he not immediately confined to the cart?
Coming up with publically acceptable consequences for poor behavior in public places is always tricky. Kids, being the born gamblers that they are, will often test the system when they figure the odds are in their favor that nothing will happen HERE if the misbehave. So, you have to plan ahead. What WILL happen if they seriously step over the line in public? Confinement to the cart? Hold onto mom’s shirt-tail and don’t let go until we reach the car? Go to the car immediately and go home? No special stops on the way home? Decide in advance, and inform the kids of what will happen if they mess up, and if they mess up, do it, even if it is a major drag for you. The faster it happens, the bigger the impression.
My 7 little darlings are now parenting their own and doing a good job of it.
June 14th, 2007 at 5:34 am
No advice from me. But I just have to tell you that I went to our local BJ’s (a wholesale club like a Sams Club or Cosco- just in case you don’t have one) the other day and guess what was on my cart?? A beautiful little cup holder. Oh yes, I was excited beyond words. Yes indeed I was.
June 14th, 2007 at 5:52 am
Great entry. I have to stop myself from judging other moms on many occasions, but the grocery store really tends to bring it out in me. What it is about the grocery store? I don’t know. But like you, I try to have a measure of grace and focus instead on what I can learn . . .
June 14th, 2007 at 5:54 am
You could have just pinched him back!!!! Just kidding! (not really) I have found a very great website filled with wisdom of a mother of 10! Yes, that’s 10 children for her not me! It is http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com You will not regret the time you spend on her site except that you have to implement and not just read about it.
June 14th, 2007 at 6:30 am
I think maybe it all hinges on the brand of butt paste used in the formative years. (I still just can’t get over what a hit that post was!)
My kids tend to get compliments on their behavior from my friends who then ask “HOW?” Obviously God has filled in where I’ve completely failed. And obviously they don’t see the giant temper tantrums that are reserved for home.
I think maybe the best thing we did was train for “first-time obedience” and demand a respectful response anytime they are told to do something. We had to actually sit down and train them a couple times when it appeared they were heading for juvenile hall. It was not fun, but the benefits were HUGE! I read it in some book, I think. I’d describe it, but my comment is already too long!
Anytime I see a brat in the grocery store and a mom that gives in and I want to roll my eyes, I imagine that perhaps mom is a single mom trying to do everything by herself. I am confident my kids would be very different if I’d been a single mom, having to work, and doing it all on my own. I just can’t imagine.
June 14th, 2007 at 6:32 am
Damien’s mommy is training him up….and aside from God’s grace, he won’t turn from it when he is old.
*sigh*
I pray for wisdom daily, and very often I pray this in the presence of my kids, so they’ll eventually realize I don’t have it all together on my own!
June 14th, 2007 at 6:37 am
And that, right there, is what is wrong with the world. Bad behavior must result in negative consequences, pure and simple. But I agree, that rather than to sit back in judgment, this is a wakeup call to all of us who are tempted to fall asleep on the job. It is so easy to look the other way, but we must be diligent to train our children. No small task, is it?
June 14th, 2007 at 6:38 am
Oh, this was so good! It reminded me of the 3 “rules of parenting” that we ALWAYS lived by, and still do (kids 24, 22, 16).
1. Say what you mean, and mean what you say - I have left full grocery carts in the store after making a threat I should not have made. It was just more work for me.
2. Catch ‘em being good - and say it out loud!
3. Choose your battles wisely. We also taught our kids to choose their battles wisely. Brothers are going to fight. They are going to disagree. Is it important enough to do so? Or can they learn to agree to disagree. Or ignore.
Those three rules covered just about everything we’ve ever dealt with in our almost 25 years of parenting.
I agree, compassion for that mom is the way to go. But oooo, it makes ya mad!
June 14th, 2007 at 7:03 am
Well said.
June 14th, 2007 at 7:36 am
funny you should post this…
here is her side.
June 14th, 2007 at 7:58 am
I am far from having it all figured out, but I have found a few small things that help with public behavior. The most important one has already been mentioned: tell your children what you expect and what the consequences for misbehavior will be before getting out of the car. Secondly, praise, praise, praise good behavior. Our kids want to hear us telling them how great they did. And, for us at least, we keep trying. If we have a bad grocery store experience or frustrating restaurant experience, we don’t stop taking them with us (although I do try to grocery shop alone b/c it is faster). We tell them we are disappointed and then we try again at a later time. I think we sometimes, unitentionally, underestimate our kids and their ability to behave.
June 14th, 2007 at 8:02 am
My, oh my! I am hearing you girlfriend! I have learned not to judge but to feel sorry for the mother, especially when the child is, oh, preteen! My oldest was a hitter in the nursery and I had a Mother set me straight. He was 1 1/2 and she didn’t confront the issue in a graceful and forgiving matter. She was quite crude and hateful about it, oh did I mention she went to my church. Being a young mother, i cried for months after. The lesson I got out of that one is to never judge a mother, to mind my own business and to continue to make MY children behave, obey and be respectful. Thank you for sharing your story and all your experiences.
June 14th, 2007 at 8:20 am
Wow, what a great post. My darling princess has done things that as a pre-child lady I said my child will NEVER do…haha, she showed me.
But, those public occasions have been few, thank you Lord. They have given me a new soft place in my heart for the mommy of a mis-behaving child. It reminds me I better follow through with disciplining my own, and I say a prayer for that mom.
June 14th, 2007 at 8:22 am
It is hard to watch that (or feel that) kind of behavior and not think “Hello? What are you teaching your child?” But we do have to try and remember that maybe she’s just having a really rough day.
And it is a good lesson to remember that just like we reinforce good behavior by praising, we reinforce negative behavior by not punishing. Every time a kid gets away with something, it makes them a little bolder to try it next time.
Thanks for the good reminder!
Oh - and we have cup holders on our carts at Meijer.
June 14th, 2007 at 8:28 am
I can’t agree more with Becky (comment #8)
“1. Say what you mean, and mean what you say”
If you make a statement like “you can’t go to the party” you’ve got to follow through. I think children tend to lose respect for a parent who makes blanket statements and doesn’t follow up, whether they’re praises or admonishments.
Oh, and my grocery store has cupholders! One for oversized cups and one for smaller cups and 20 oz bottles.
June 14th, 2007 at 8:42 am
This was a great post. So true.
BTW there is a grocery store here called Mars…they have cup holders in the carts!
June 14th, 2007 at 8:55 am
I not only have witnessed this, but remain appalled by this kind of behavior. Children learn, and very quickly, that if it is allowed once, it will be allowed again. The best I can do is take this lesson, and work with my own children and prevent this kind of event from happening with me and mine.
Hope your thigh is feeling better!
June 14th, 2007 at 9:23 am
Wow…..just wow! I’ve Never been accosted by a midget, THAT WASN’T MY OWN, in the grocery store before. I’ve got a few pretty good kids and then some who stretch me as tight as a rubber band. But the thing that works best for public behavior is telling them my expectations before we even leave the car. Many a grocery excursion has been cut short…cart left in the aisle…because one of the bunch wasn’t able to be in public that day. A few instances of leaving the Ho-Ho’s in the cart as we walk away. is just enough torture to ensure good behavior the next time.
June 14th, 2007 at 10:00 am
Thanks for the reminder to stay on top of my kids behavior. Sometimes it IS easier to ignore the behavior… but in the long run it makes things much harder.
June 14th, 2007 at 11:00 am
See this is why I travel with extra padding - kid hits thigh that starts a chain reaction so the inner thigh will fly out and smack him back.
I’ve had a lot of interesting talks with my boys when they see other kids behaving badly and look at me expecting me to do something about it. Yes, I need to work on not being judgemental.
And where do you blessed people live that have cup holders in carts??!!
June 14th, 2007 at 11:15 am
Interesting story. We had a similar observation of a kid and his parents (friends of ours) this week. The 2-year-old decided to be ‘tired’ when his dad asked him to clean up. His mom totally bought it and even admonished dad, “Oh, now his feelings are hurt!” We’re thinking of giving them a tape of Supernanny (not really, but the thought is tempting).
Oh, and in Portland, every grocery cart (or “buggy” as I like to say as a Mississippi girl) has a cup holder in the tray. It was one of the first things I noticed after moving up here.
June 14th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
I’m guessing that that wasn’t the first bad thing that Damian had done in that grocery store.
My daughter would have been almost as bad if I had ever let her out of the cart. Which I never did. Ever.
I had a situation with some serious health problems that coincided with some of her worst behavior. I ended up getting groceries delivered (Safeway.com) for months.
It ended up being much cheaper for me. Because you can take things out of the “cart” when your total gets over budget. You don’t have that surprise total at checkout that you can’t do anything about because you were shopping with your stomach, or buying things just to shut the kids up.
You can also go to the pantry or fridge and double check to make sure you have something so you don’t end up with too much of one thing and not enough of the other.
On Safeway, the delivery charge is $10, bu if you buy more than $150 worth of groceries, which I always did, it was only $5. AND the come in and put it on your kitchen counters for you.
I was talking to the delivery driver once and he said that they delivered to a lot of elderly, ill or disabled people. He said that there were a few people he even put groceries away for. One lady in a wheelchair just needed the frozen stuff put in the freezer, and then she kept the rest of the stuff in the lower cabinets so she did that.
It was a total life saver for me. Most people don’t realize how reasonably priced that option is. I still get stuff delivered sometimes, but honestly, now that my husband isn’t working so much and can watch the kids while I go grocery shopping, it’s my alone out of the house time.
Nancy
June 14th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Mine started testing me in the store when she was about four (never, ever, EVER by hitting someone though… just wandering away and whining.) I gave her one warning before we got into the store: what I expected of her and what would happen if she didn’t listen. We left a full cart of groceries and I carried her out immediately upon offense number three, kicking and screaming, tucked under my arm sideways like a giant tantrum-throwing tree log. We never even came close to it happening again.
Sounds like Damien and his parents could use a Super Nanny visit. Or his mom could just use a good swift kick in the pants. (Only kidding… sort of.)
June 14th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
A cupholder for grocery carts! This is an idea that needs to catch on along with a separate little compartment for things that get squashed like eggs and bread.
June 14th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
As a former teacher I have no issue on gently reproaching acting out behaviors of other children in stores and on the playgrounds. When the mother refuses to step in I am often found whispering to the child that in my household such behavior is not allowed and that I think their parents would prefer that they not do that as well. The child is usually shocked into submission, is embarassed enough at finding himself reproved by a stranger that the stranger stops immediately. This works especially well with bullieson the playground.
We often get congratulated on the behavior of our children in public (strangers don’t see the temper tantrums at home). My best advice is to pray for wisdom constantly–especially in dealing with negative behaviors. God has been very faithful in showing us how to handle different things. And first time obedience because God says so.
God has filled in the gaps and at least most of our obedience issues turn up at home–if in public the child is made to apologize and is then disciplined in private.
June 14th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
He is obviously suffering the ill effects of a diaper that was never taken care of by the family dog!
You are a much bigger woman than I (spiritually speaking, of course :)) - I would have stewed all the way through the grocery store, and then called my SIL (also my BFF) to tell her ALL about it. Maybe later I would have realized that I should be praying, not gossiping. And believe me, my kids are no angels in the grocery store, so I need to be removing the plank from my own eye, thankyouverymuch.
And PS: I’m totally NOT making fun of the person who suggested the butt-licking dog remedy - and that is an honest, sarcasm-free sentiment. Who knows, it might really work. I’m not surprised by anything anymore. Well, except for a kid punching me in the grocery store. That might surprise me.
June 14th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
I too, struggle with judging another mom first. Good thing the Holy Spirit likes to smack the back of my head and remind me that there’s a plank in my own eye.
Most of the time, I remember to go over the “rules” before we get out of the car. When I do that, it’s easier to remind the kiddos what I expect. I have yet to have to leave a full cart of groceries, but I’m sure that day will come.
And…when they do a good job, I do my best to let them know, and let them help me carry groceries into the house, and put away low-shelf stuff. Believe it or not - my kids LOVE that reward. If they weren’t well-behaved, they have to watch me do it. Is that weird?
June 14th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
I would have had to bite my tongue to keep from congratulating the mother on raising the next generation of To catch a predator tv stars.
I too warned my kids if they acted too bad in public we would go home without anything and I actually had to do it once. The kids had a toy picked out, I had started getting groceries and they started fighting and wouldn’t stop. We put the toys up and went home with nothing. No one had milk for breakfast or a new toy so they were very happy to behave when we went back to the store.
June 14th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
As a teacher for the last 13 years and mother of 2, I have seen many parents ignoring behavior or laughing it off by saying, “Isn’t that cute” (not kidding). My personal favorite was the parent who asked me for advise because all her child wanted to do was play video games all day on Saturday. I told her to TURN IT OFF! (again not kidding).
I just have to tell you that your ability to have compassion for this woman and not be totally ticked off is amazing to me. I’m going to start praying for a more understanding heart. Thank you for setting an example for me.
Just this weekend we were camping with our friends and almost everyone asked us how we got our kids to behave and sleep without pulling our hair out. We said the same as many others above — consistency, consistency, consistency.
June 14th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
Dee Dee,
I have seen your name around the blogosphere and never taken the time to visit your site. I have denied myself so many good laughs and good times.
You have yet to NOT make me laugh out loud AND to think about your topic in another light.
Thanks so much.
Keep up the good work!
June 14th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Sister, you’re singing my song. Ergh! I get-oh-so-very-irritated—nope, I get mad over things like that.
Know why? Eventually the little sucker puncher will meet my children and will teach them their evil ways. Which will lead me to ask my offspring, “Are you new here? Have you meet your mother yet? Has this ever worked?” And I’ll spend the next decade undoing what 30 minutes with the little hellbent terror has done.
About the cup holders in grocery carts, I hate to say this, my dear, but they do. Inside my Albertson’s grocery store we have a lovely invention known as Starbucks. Because of this lovely invention, which sells of all things, COFFEE! and they have handy-dandy cup holders right next to the push handle of the grocery cart.
Hey I’m going there later, I’ll take a picture for you. See how nice I am.
June 14th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
The one thing I haven’t seen mentioned in these comments is one that just baffles a lot of parents I’ve met. My expectations of my children are very high, and they know it. I flat out expect good behavior in the grocery store. Period. There are consequences if they don’t deliver, but usually after we’ve left the store. I’ve never had to leave a shopping cart in the aisle, but I’m not above it if their behavior is that bad.
I’m not saying I expect perfection, not by a long shot. But I am saying that the higher your expectations (as long as you stay in the realm of the possible), the higher they perform. I think a lot of people really underestimate what their kids are capable of, and without someone pushing them to try harder and do better, why would they?
June 14th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
I have to admit that I was rather pleased that the Mother attempted to get her son to apologize. Maybe this embarrassed her enough that she will reevaluate her disciplinarian action. So many times I have seen children that act so poorly and the parents don’t seem to be bothered by it or even ask them to apologize. I groan to think of all the times I have unpleasant incidents with my own children in public. Every once in awhile they seem to test and see if the boundaries are still in place. *sigh*
June 14th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
I remember shopping with my kids when they were little. I was blessed to have three well behaved kids in the store. We ran into several Damiens before and my kids would look at me and ask~why do they behave like that? Don’t they know Jesus wants them to be good for their mom? That’s when I thanked them for being so good and praised God for sending my angels. I have to give credit to their foster mom because she expected good behavior and taught them well. Children won’t learn if we dont follow through with our “threats”. My kids learned right away not to beg either. That drives me crazy!
Sorry I haven’t replied to your e-mail. I burnt the tops of my hands and have been out of commission all week. I missed you very much though and thought of you everyday and all the good stuff I was missing! Hugs!
June 14th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Hey, as promised, check this out.
Bloggin’ For DeeDee
June 14th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Yes! Cupholders for grocery carts… I mean would that be so hard?!
No, that’s not the only thing I got out of this post, just the only intelligent remark I can offer. I still new at this parenting thing!
June 14th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
Great story! Sure does make you want to scream doesn’t it. But I loved your thoughtful response (after the remark about the party). Thinking about how this woman must be terribly over come by other struggles in her life.
i LOVE the verse you used. That was an important verse at our Women’s Retreat this Spring!!!
June 15th, 2007 at 12:58 am
UGHHHH….my boys havent ever accosted anyone in the grocery store but they are far from being angels. I had ahold of one hand when the other broke free and knocked down one of those HUGE store window signs not long ago. After I caught him*he could outrun FLO JO some days* i drug both boys back to the managers desk and made them stand there until it was convenient for her and then made them apologize and ask if they could pay her their allowance(a pitifully small amount but painful for them anyway) for her trouble to have to put the sign back up.
But i do have to admit that as a married mostly solo parent*truckdriving widow* there are more times than I would like to admit that I do let things go out of sheer exhaustion and frustration
June 15th, 2007 at 5:05 am
Someone needs to give that woman a copy of Mike and Debi Pearl’s book TRAIN UP A CHILD.
June 15th, 2007 at 5:06 am
TO TRAIN UP A CHILD, sorry misnamed it. find it at Nogreaterjoy.org
June 15th, 2007 at 11:54 am
Dee, I’ve had a lot of people clicking over to my blog to see what I have to say. I haven’t gotten much advice either. Thank you for your encouragement.
Now, I’m going to pretend I really am that mother in the grocery store. As a mother of a child who has acted just like that little boy, I’m qualified:
I’ve tried first-time obedience, the Pearls, spanking, threats, promises of no treats like a party, candy, you name it. I’m a Christian. We go to church every Sunday, Wednesday and home educate. When my child acts out in public with fighting, kicking, tantrums, it’s hard for me. I’m tired of being the mom who yells all the time. All I want to do is get out of the store without forgetting anything on my list. I’m sorry I didn’t apologize for my boy, I should have, but I was embarrassed. I never thought motherhood would be this hard, this difficult. Please pray for me.
Sometimes no matter what we do, what we teach or train, the kids are still going to do rotten things. Like punch strangers. It’s called sin.
And this is to the real mother of the little boxer; she’s found her way here after doing a Google for “help raising boys” :
I know how you feel, you are not alone. I bet the whole scene embarrassed the heck out of you. I suspect he has an older brother who loves to teach him naughtiness. I have one of those kids too. No child is perfect. No mother is perfect. Keep trying. We moms need to help each other. We need to pray for each other. I hope you pray for yourself. I know it helps me; I know God hears and He understands.
June 15th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
I believe I have mentioned once or forty times over at my place that H.E.B. is The Best Grocery Store…EVER, although the one’s in Houston are not nearly as nice as ours here….but my point was that our carts have cup holders
Just, you know, to rub it in a little…
June 15th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Funny how one can read such a tale, and then experience it later in the same day! We were at a playdate with friends, when my friend’s almost 3 year old hauls of and commences with the pushing of an unsuspecting adult bystander. Not once, but 2 or 3 times. I call him on it, as his mom is preoccupied, and appologize for his impetuous impulsive inappropriate behavior (and I know my friend did as well). I also know that there was some discipline dispensed in an appropriate and timely manner!
Luckily my friend and I are of like minds when it comes to see it, call it, manage it on the kids front. Friends like that are rare and precious, and all of our kids will be better for it in the long run!
Sorry that this mother didn’t see fit to carry through, or appologize. There is no excuse for either behavior, but manners do go a long way to mend the offense!
June 16th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Yes, my child is perfect and is always well behaved and polite and helps little old ladies across the street, so let me tell you how I do it….. jI’ll drop you a line just as soon as I get back to the Mothership.
One time, at Toys R Us, in the check out line, there was a boy seated in a cart just in front of me. Not a small boy either, he was about 3 going on 17. I swear he needed a shave. Anyway, he spit at me. SPIT. At me. Well, I yelled at, I mean used a firm tone with him, “Hey BUDDY! Knock it off! DON”T spit at me!” And his mom turned and made some feeble excuse yet continued to buy hima toy, which I wanted to rip out of her hands and whap her upside the head with. I didn’t have a kid at the time, but I swore I would never let my kid get away with that. I would come down on him so hard and so fast his head would spin. And unlike the McDonalds thing, this is one of those “I’ll never” things that I really mean. Kids are going to do stuff like that, but you gotta shut it down in a hurry. Now. I think I’ll go write about this on my OWN blog!
June 18th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
Back when I was a nanny, I had to take several different children to the grocery store. Being a nanny is always harder, because the kids are not pre-trained by you, so I had to think of a method for each of them. The eaters I would bring at lunch time, and promised them a deli trip first. (Free lunch BTW) The do-ers I would task with a list of their own, and make them help out putting things in the cart. For the others, I would make sure to plan the trip at their natural down time, after some light activities but before they get too tired. But never before dinner, or when they are getting hungry, that was just asking for disaster!
I did realize that kids pick up on your stress- so when you go grocery shopping when it is busy in the store, or right before dinner- and you feel stressed yourself, it rubs off on the kids and they start to get anxious too. I did always plan the grocery list ahead of time with the layout of the store, so I could get everything in one swoop. They used to have these machines in the front of the store, where you could pick out recipes and it would print out the ingredients according to the store sections, whatever happened to those?
July 23rd, 2007 at 10:28 am
I’ve had this bookmarked since you wrote it. I’ve had SOOO many of these incidents (with other children) that it truly makes me twitch.
So I posted something similar today - because children’s behavior is driving me up a wall lately. Pop over to check it out once you get your 956 (957 now) emails read!