And Baby Makes 5
November 26th, 2006 by FiddledeedeeWhen I was 31, I lay on the cold metal table impatiently waiting for the sonogram technician to finish. “Twins”, he said. “That’s so not funny.” You see, I was neither married, or pregnant. I had two large cysts, which turned out to be an indication of severe endometriosis. After surgery, my doctor recommended that I get pregnant as soon as possible, because the longer I waited, the less likely it would be that I could conceive. Well, I had my own set of statistics. I felt that my chances of spontaneously combusting, or better yet, winning the lottery, were exceptionally better than my getting married anytime soon.And so I did win the lottery in a way, in 1997, when I married my husband. I was 37. At my yearly gynecological appointment, my doctor tapped his watch and reminded me that I needed to “use it, or lose it.” Allrightythen. Let the games begin.
A little while after that we indeed got pregnant, only to miscarry at 12 weeks. I thought I’d never recover from that heartbreak. And then, about 8 months later, I found out I was pregnant with my Emme. The miracle was not that I had conceived, but that I discovered that I was pregnant while I was caring for my terminally ill mother. That pregnancy was a gift from God, to get me through all the pain and loss that I was about to endure. I thought I’d never recover from that heartbreak. I gave birth to my daughter when I was 39.
Exactly two years later, I had my sweet Cailey, when I was 41. Now we were a family of 4. That was a good even number. The inmates didn’t outnumber the guards. But then, when Cailey turned 2, I started to get those, you know, pangs. I wanted another baby.
I broached the subject with my husband. He wasn’t very receptive. I didn’t blame him. But still. I put my hands on my hips and dug my little size 7 heels into the carpet and said, “I’m just going to pray that God changes your mind!” He leveled his gaze at me saying quietly, “I’m going to pray that God restores your memory!” Good point. I’m not a very pleasant pregnant girl.
Eventually I got on the same page as my husband. I was even beginning to get my groove back. I got my braces off, lost 20 pounds, and was feeling better than I’d ever felt.
Well, you know what happens next.
I stared at the stick on the bathroom sink. Two lines. “Oh dear Lord, I’m pregnant. Again.” My emotions fluctuated wildly. Extreme fear. Extreme joy. Extreme fear. Extreme joy. Tom and I were like a pair of deer, standing in the middle of the road, staring at the headlights of the car careening towards us. Here we were, in our mid-40’s, with a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Are we insane?
I found myself once again, lying on a cold metal table. Impatiently waiting for the sonogram technician to finish. “It’s a boy.” I heard an audible sigh of relief from my husband. Followed closely by “are you sure?” “Have you ever made a mistake?” his voice slightly cracking. I was just grateful that the technician said “a” instead of “they.” Judging from the size of me, I could have been squirreling away 2 or 3 more.
At the age of 44, I gave birth to Jensen Christopher. “Jensen” is nordic for “God is gracious.” And indeed He is. We can’t imagine our lives without our precious boy.
And so, to answer the question today. “Am I through?” Oh, most certainly yes. I’m popping Tylenol after a day at the park, and reading Dr. Seuss with my bifocals. I would say I’m through. I’m even losing weight, and starting to get my groove back. I feel better than I’ve felt in a long time……….
Oh no.
A note to my husband: Just kidding honey. My memory is still intact! So far.
Posted in My Life as I See It |
November 26th, 2006 at 3:10 am
HAHAHA!!! You had me (and my hubby) laughing SO hard all through this post. You’re hilarious! I love the “inmates and guards”, and the memory prayers. Why is it that when we hold a newborn or smell that sweet baby smell, we DO seem to magically forget labor, and the months of sleeplessness and chaos?? Yeah, we’re done, too. I think.
November 26th, 2006 at 4:00 am
How awesome.
My mom was 42 when she had my youngest sister. (when I was 17!) It was great for me to see her grow up. Gave me a small taste of what it’s like to be a mom. It’s amazing and wonderful, and very hard sometimes, isn’t it?
Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog…
November 26th, 2006 at 4:32 am
What blessings!!!!
November 26th, 2006 at 6:27 pm
I tried SO HARD For the first two. The second two just showed up in God’s timing. But I had all four when I was so overweight that people couldn’t tell I was pregnant when I was OVERDUE. SO it would be fun to have one now that I’m “lighter” - to have a normal pregnancy. But I’m 40 and single now so even though that’s what I would like, it ain’t gonna happen unless God works a miracle.
That’s ok, though. Mine are amazing and I’m blessed everyday by the gift of my four.
Thanks for sharing!
November 27th, 2006 at 12:03 am
Thanks for this post! We have been trying for two years and at 35 I feel like it is going to take a miracle. Your post reminds me to let go and let God, and get on the treadmilll in the process.
November 28th, 2006 at 2:05 am
This is a great post. And I like your husband’s comment about your memory returning because that is exactly what my hubby would say!!!
November 28th, 2006 at 1:04 pm
I have six, ages 24, 22, 20, 8, 6 and 2. Some days I wish I had another baby. I have to be nuts, I know it. I am so sore and tired so often. If I ever told my sisters that sometimes I wish for another one, they would say I am crazy. I will be 42 tomorrow. What is it about babies that just draws some of us to them for life? That smell? That sweetness of the snuggle, the lure of breastfeeding? I don’t know. But I am addicted.
November 29th, 2006 at 2:32 am
Janet, you are an amazing woman! I understand the addiction, to be sure. I had a friend, who is a grandmother, once tell me that you never lose the desire for another baby. I think this is something that God designed in us so we would keep procreating. If we had any sense, we’d stop after one
Just kidding.
Happy Birthday! You’re only 42, go for #7.
(Personally as for me, I’m praying for menopause!)
November 29th, 2006 at 3:24 am
DeeDee, at the risk of sounding repetetive, I’m so glad I found you through Lisa! (And she still says she’d have another, if she could!!)
This is a precious post–and hilarious, all at the same time.
We say we’re done, and my husband means it. I mean it most of the time. Things are so crazy around here, I’m not sure another baby would make it much worse. On the other hand, I have nine months of morning sickness, I generally give birth without pain meds, and it’s harder each time for me to lose weight. So yeah, maybe we’re done:)
Of course, Addison’s two pink lines were a surprise when Grayson was only 11 months old, so maybe I should stop saying “maybe” and do something about it? But oh, baby cheeks against mine are sooooo sweet . . .
November 29th, 2006 at 2:23 pm
Great post! Love the way you write–
November 29th, 2006 at 3:22 pm
That was very precious. You have an awesome way with words. Oh, I found you through WWFM.
November 29th, 2006 at 8:50 pm
Oh what a fantastic post. You had me in stitches… And I love your ending.
November 30th, 2006 at 5:34 pm
Dee Dee,
I love when I stumble onto a post and it speaks to my heart.
Thank you!
My heart is clearly not done trying to conceive but it seems like my body ( and spirit)may be.
I took for granted the gift of even being able to have the choice to decide I was done.
Glad I found you!
November 30th, 2006 at 7:52 pm
Thank you - what a fun story! I lost it when a friend of mine announced that at 39 she was pregnant. At that time, I was 36 - single, no hope on the horizon of any man, trying desperately to be okay where I was - happily single - not fooling anyone, and had given up two children for adoption in my young days. Oh - how I wanted one of my own. As crazy as this sounds - my girlfriend’s baby is only 6 months older than mine. God rushed in! I met my wonderful husband. He heard me speaking - and pursued me. First time in my life that had ever happened. We were married within 2 months of meeting. One month into the marriage - we got pregnant, figuring we had no time to waste! I get to be mom to his two boys - and my own little crazy guy. Sorry - this is long - you excited me by practically telling my story! Now I have a two and a half year old, a 14-year old, and an 18-year old. What a fun house we have! Thanks so much for sharing your story! God Bless!
December 1st, 2006 at 7:28 pm
After not really being interested in having babies for the first 8 years or so if marriage, followed by 2 miscarriages that my heart is still not over (and probably won’t be over until I get to heaven), followed by a boy then a girl (2 yrs. and almost 3 mo.), we say we’ll take as many as God will give us. But then again, would I say that if I wasn’t already 35? I love being pregnant (once the baby starts moving anyway) and my last birth was fabulous!
December 14th, 2006 at 3:10 pm
I’m a mother of three, so far, and have said I was done twice. Now, my husband is the one asking me to make the appt to remove the IUD SOONER! He digs out my maternity clothes if I ask what he would like to see me wear for a date night. It’s wonderful, and it makes my heart jump into my throat every time he does it. I’m done saying I’m done. I don’t know when we’ll be done. I think God will guide us, if we only take the time to listen to Him speaking to our hearts. But, I’m also only 27, have easy pregnancies and deliveries (knock on wood!), and a supportive hubby! Makes it all less daunting.